Isn’t it funny how most women have a checklist of requirements for dating men? These women think finding a guy is like ordering a sandwich – a little more height please, easy on the love of sports, and can you throw in a weekend house in the mountains and a willingness to support some other guy’s children?
Everyone has at some point seen personal ads. Whether you’re looking for for that special someone or just the flavor of the night, dating sites are EVERYWHERE. If men wrote their personal ads the same way a woman does, we would expect to see something like this:
Looking to meet the woman of my dreams. Someone who appreciates me for who I am. I love big TV’s, big trucks, baseball caps, and wife-beater tanks. I love going out with my friends to get drunk at strip clubs too. I’m looking for a nice woman who is not looking to jump into a relationship too soon but who knows what it means to be sexy and take care of her partner. Please no BBW’s (sorry) but you won’t look good on my arm when I wear a white t-shirt.
You must love dogs and my beer can collection. My dogs, my cans, and I are a package, so if you’re not into them then please move on. I like to let all 6 of my dogs sleep in my bed with me, so hopefully you don’t have a problem with that.
Deal breakers:
Likes to shop too much
Obsessed with height (i am short)
fat
talks about yourself too much
neediness
always wanting to talk about the relationship
small breasts (sorry, there is nothing sexier than grabbing onto a nice pair)
doesnt like to cook for her man
bossiness
nagging
always wanting to get up early in the morning
fat
intolerance of me and my habits
pressure to have kids
Turn ons:
thin
large breasts (very sexy)
quiet
beer drinker
has her own friends and won’t try to make me watch chick flicks
smells good
likes football
doesn’t expect me to pay all the time
intelligent but not too intelligent (i dont like nerdy girls)
rich father
thin
doesn’t have a relationship calendar, i.e. doesnt wonder after 3 months if we are going in the right direction.